Convince Me

Somehow, some way, the jerk-offs in charge think that some words from Mrs. Clinton will convince me that Mr. Obama is sincere. About green collar (hand) jobs, ad ad infinitum.

So here's Gov of Montana, prepping the crowd with wit and humor:
Chanting with the crowd? Why was no one in the crowd prepared for this turn?
Also the petrodictators keep changing the chant from chant to chant?

Let's see how she does. Fox News (Corp.) tried to convince me that Mrs. Clinton thought she was not the Dems' PR person, and in the course of the same story showed how much power she could wield if she were evil. Oh wait.

SO....

DNC

YES WE CAN & etc.

A vidoebio.
Astro-Hillary! Rock MUSIC. Clearly this woman could respectively play with men. I'm inspired, but she's not the nominee. Sidenote: "Bill Clinton brainwashed by the queen of heart btw? Can we expect some instruction from an aging Angela Lansbury about where to shoot? " 18 million cracks would be cool to find in bed. I wonder if Obama's videobio will be this full of cutaways and still photos? No, the runner up (read loser) is still a winner with 18million Kracckks in the sealing .
fin

No, no, thank you. You're a looker these days, Chelsea!

Hoorah! More rockin' music and idle idolatry. Some KBCO music about a Jezebel-esque. The royalties come pouring in from this convention.

(emerge Hillary, in orange pant-suit)

(crowd goes apeshit)

That's a lot of signage. Authorized signage.

A proud mother, dem sen. from NY, American, supporter of Obam., an' proud runner up in the catfight.

Single party! Single purpose! Single motherhood! And the same team! Go w(h)in(e) together!

Did she balance? Could she be the next Justice of the Supreme Meat Lovers Court? I think they deliver to my place.

Burn. No way, nohow no McCain. Was that what was said in the Wizard of OZ?
Can't wait for the no ad days. The future? I want to live in Kubrick's 2001.
Old dog and new tricks taught, whaddaya know.
Fight for healthcare! Do it from the SENATE!Do it from the SENATE!Do it from the SENATE!
Apparently Puerto Rico has children and more left behind. And something to do with the Bush Admin. and therefore McCain. I don't get it.

You die right before the convention, and the politicos will misuse your name to say why YOUR GUY should be elected. Wait, that mean Clinton lost a superdelagate by her death. Yikes.

Geoerosive forces have gone to work on our American Reputation AND Promise.
Save for College? and a Home? Hrm, my parents missed the boat.

Yay rights! I want rights.
Shift in tone for Terrorism! Get grave.

I just noticed that the UNITY signs, cleverly hidden before, just waited to appear til time came to say: Barack!
Toughest challenges (met and unmet): cracking open a beer with teeth, have orgy involving any of the Arquettes, cut taxes for big bad big oil, get elected to NY Senate seat.

Elect Obama and you too can become a stuffy elitist. He'll teach you!
I want to see how Obama signs his name, good point Hill.

Repair our alliances and the White House toilets? Is there anything this man cannot do?
And Michelle O. has the pursed lip-look when mentioned for her heartfelt speech that NPR indicated showed a different kind of political wymyn. One who can be smart, have judgement, and show her sensitive feminine intuitive side.

Twin cities, McCan't is twin of W, what a connection. Man, Woman, Child. Don't forget that Colorado's 1908 Convention hosted the first female delegates. Honor the shrine of our Constitution!

More cleverly hidden signs. OBAMA!

Let's phase out those Clinton signs! Yep, GONE! Now the signs indicate our unity. The show's almost over, kids. The take home: O&B*A$M@A! U!N(I/T^Y!!!

GOD SAVE THE QUEEN.

I don't feel vindicated. I'm still skeptical.

Liveblogging Hillary

Before we get to Her Royal Craziness, we have had the honour [sic] of listening to the governour [sic] of Montana. I am struggling to refrain from waving my Stetson in the air and yelling "Yee-haw!" A few key transliterations:
Mawntaana
inergee indupeyndeyns
a draaaah well
Amayricuh
Burawk Obawma
fahv miiilyun greyn collur jawbs
fooowr moowr yeyars

And now:

"Hillary's for families!"
"Hillary Clinton is inspirational"
"Hillary!"
"Hill-a-ry!"

An alternatingly maudlin and inspirational video montage, narrated by Chelsea, and including a tribute to Hillary's bray. To sum up, "Look little girls! A woman can lose a primary too!"

mentions of 18,000,000 cracks in the glass ceiling so far: 2

Chelsea: "I'm proud to introduce my hero and my mother!"
Michelle, mentally: "That's two people, right?"

outfit: coral
lips: pursed

Me, me , me! Aren't I awesome?

Biden, mentally: "Don'tbeabitchdon'tbeabitch"

Another mention of the Hillary bray.

I will always remember . . . that bald single mom who adopts retarded kids and painted my name on her head, some kid whose loser mom got her hours cut at the hamburger stand, some gimp soldier, and, you know, a bunch of eager old biddies and little cherubs. Whatever.

But enough about me. Some people you've never heard of died this year. Howsabout that?

Green-collar jobs again? I believe we'vefound the epicenter of a mind-virus.

Gay rights? What? Gosh, thanks Hillary! Too bad you don't want us to get married.

Michelle: "Huh? What? I heard my name . . ."

Biden: "It's the home stretch, Clinton. Don'tbeabitchdon'tbeabitch . . ."

Wait a minute, what was that? A valid intellectual inquiry: Were you in it for me, or for kids/moms/broads/veterans?

I thought at first that I was imagining it, but she definitely hesitates every time she says Barack Obama.
"President . . . Obama!"
"It is time for us all to unite around . . . Barack Obama"
As if the words burn her Demon Lips.

To sum up, green-collar jobs, aww poor veterans, aww poor kiddies, vote for b, buh, Barack! I even might! America! Fuck Yeah! Glass ceiling! Oh wait: Harriet Tubman! She was black! Goodnight everybody!

And now, everybody, here's Methodist minister Chinky Kong with a benediction It's a prayer, just don't tell the atheists. They're total dicks about this shit.