Surely, the author could not have known that the titular death would
be his own. And yet, considering the depth of spirit that is evident in
this work . . . perhaps he did? It's entirely plausible that he knew
this would his final word, and that the reader would be left behind to
put it together in a way that makes sense.
Thus is death, and
thus is grief. They take their version with them, the dead, their
director's cut, their final draft. What we are left with is fragments,
our version of their story, and it is that which we mourn. And just as
the humans in this book will each hold a different Jay in their mind, so
will each reader be left to wonder forever what Agee's final edition
would have been.
My Maternal Grandfather will die this week. He
fell, and there's really nothing to do but inter him in palliative care,
and then eventually in a hole in the ground in Kansas. Why was he the
way he was? I have my version, my explanation why a decade ago he
decided he never wanted to speak to me again. Well, he got his wish.
But
it is the privilege of the living, and of the reader, to have the last
word. To look at the fragments of stories left behind, and to declare
them, as in the case of Agee, good, beautiful, necesary.
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