This model of relationships, to the extent such things can be analyzed, is as good as any. Humans are story machines; we exist to narrate, to make sense of things and find a map through what is in reality a cloud of atoms. Sternberg's model acknowledges this humanity, and applies it first at the macro level, proposing a story about stories that one can use to illustrate and reflect one's own experiences. Each of his proposed models is rather like a tarot card that one can turn up and see as an answer to the mystery of our connections.
His deck, however, the taxonomy of approaches to relationships, is flawed in its cisheteronormativity, but the approach is sound. Begin by asking, "What have experience and society, combined with my won innate nature, led me to believe about--and seek from--relationships?" There are certain of his models that come close to describing my own beliefs and experiences. Even if I limit myself to what he offers, it is useful to notice that part of my own dissatisfaction and frustration with love comes from the conflict between what I believe (something adjacent to his "garden" story) and what I end up with (something more like his "sacrifice" story). But this realization is the booby prize, in a way. Knowing that what I have found is not what I want is small solace. Knowing why I have attracted or pursued stories that do not align with what would make me happy would be a much more useful bit of information.
And so I add my own version to his list. Love is a Brotherhood. It is a battle, but not between the parties. Rather it is a combination of forces against the encroaching void for mutual protection and advancement. Whether this story is healthy or not is open to debate (my therapist thinks not). But it at least gives me a concrete framework to lay over my own choices, and reflect.
Ultiimately, however, Love is a Story is itself a story: another layer of narrative on top of reality that can be useful or not, depending on whether one sees it as a map or a mirror.
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